Saturday, Feb. 19, 2011, 9:51 p.m.
Hello my 23 year old self! & 22 year old friend!<->
Monday, Aug. 20, 2007, 2:55 a.m.
I hate how the breaks roll along, and somehowmy body responds to it automatically, by not being able to fall asleep untill the wee hours of the day, and then a friend calls you inthe afternoon that wakes you up. Its just destructive to the psyche, but yet, I'm revelling in the surreallness of it all, doing things in the middle of the night, all alone, like i'm holed up in my own world.<->
Monday, Aug. 06, 2007, 2:53 a.m.
Time truly flies. It seemed like just yesterday when I was envisioning myself going to university. Now, I'm actually on my way, almost reaching it. Just a little less than a year and off I go. Everyone's leaving our little island, jetting off to parts of the world for the education. Next up is jm, then after me. And when we finally come back, the boys jet off and come back 2 years later. How nice to know that in future, we might have to meet up in airports all over the place. But, on hindsight, this is what I've been anticipating for all my life. It's just that daunting feeling of entering new territories that everyone's afraid of. But seems like charlene's fitting in well in murdoch. and perth being a good place for shopping and all. and the quaint little villages that seems so harry potter-ish. i can just hope that my class goes together and have even more fun together there. Suddenly trying for NUS next year doesnt seem that tempting anymore. (:
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Tuesday, Jun. 26, 2007, 9:32 p.m.
Its been a long time since i've update. And this time, i'm just about to enter a new phase in life, all too different from the structured life that i've been leading so far. Now, flexibility is very much emphasized, and time seems to be much more available now. But being the contradicting person that i am, i find the free time makes me feel like i'm living life unproductively. I feel like i have nothing to achieve, without a purpose in life. So those with job offers, come on in, provided the hours are flexi, that is. And thinking back, i regret not archiving anything about my fantabulous time at Billy's. Its a chapter of my life that i would like very much to highlight, to keep it shining brightly in my memory forever. The bonds that are forged there, the friendship made, and the fun times had. But i guess nothing can take that away from me. But like what i'm doing now, we always look forward. And anticipate the future i shall. <->
Tuesday, Jun. 26, 2007, 9:32 p.m.
Its been a long time since i've update. And this time, i'm just about to enter a new phase in life, all too different from the structured life that i've been leading so far. Now, flexibility is very much emphasized, and time seems to be much more available now. But being the contradicting person that i am, i find the free time makes me feel like i'm living life unproductively. I feel like i have nothing to achieve, without a purpose in life. So those with job offers, come on in, provided the hours are flexi, that is. And thinking back, i regret not archiving anything about my fantabulous time at Billy's. Its a chapter of my life that i would like very much to highlight, to keep it shining brightly in my memory forever. The bonds that are forged there, the friendship made, and the fun times had. But i guess nothing can take that away from me. But like what i'm doing now, we always look forward. And anticipate the future i shall. <->
Tuesday, Jun. 26, 2007, 9:32 p.m.
Its been a long time since i've update. And this time, i'm just about to enter a new phase in life, all too different from the structured life that i've been leading so far. Now, flexibility is very much emphasized, and time seems to be much more available now. But being the contradicting person that i am, i find the free time makes me feel like i'm living life unproductively. I feel like i have nothing to achieve, without a purpose in life. So those with job offers, come on in, provided the hours are flexi, that is. And thinking back, i regret not archiving anything about my fantabulous time at Billy's. Its a chapter of my life that i would like very much to highlight, to keep it shining brightly in my memory forever. The bonds that are forged there, the friendship made, and the fun times had. But i guess nothing can take that away from me. But like what i'm doing now, we always look forward. And anticipate the future i shall. Wednesday, Jun. 06, 2007, 2:36 a.m.
Haven't been to this place in ages. It seemed like I passed this by while I was busy living my life. So many times I meant to document the highs and lows of the past few months here, but like most humans tend to be, I'm such a procastinator that I just plain forgot. Or, I would tell myself, there's still tomorrow.So that's been the lesson learnt. Tomorrow might not always be there, and when you don't do things today, it might just be lost forever. Like the forgotten friend that you wanted to call, but didn't. Or the heartfelt things you want to do for your friends, but is too lazy too.
Such does have its consequences.
<->
Friday, May. 11, 2007, 8:26 p.m.
Life's not fun when its a mess.<->
Tuesday, May. 08, 2007, 1:46 a.m.
In life, you never truly understand something untill you've experienced it yourself. For me, I never really understood the term 'sexy', or how a person can ooze 'sexiness' even if they are just doing daily chores. For the most part, people tend to equate it to minimal clothing articles. But recently, I finally realize how 'sexiness' can be defined, and how someone can just be devastatingly sexy by just drinking water from a glass.It is something that comes from within, and is something unique to the beholder. In short, it can be said to be the "X-factor" that many talk about, but can't really explain. And to feel that someone is that high up on the pedestal with his/her appeal is truly a foreign experience. Just the smile alone could prabably give heart palpitations, let alone the gruff voice and the symmetrical, deep set eyes.
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Sunday, Apr. 22, 2007, 6:39 p.m.
A few days back, I got kinda drunk. Ok, make that very drunk, to the extent that I'm almost wasted. The feeling then was surreal. Like, you have the urge to drink more, yet you know your head feels woozy and you cant walk in a straight line. You try to laugh and talk, yet all you want to do is just lay fast asleep. Yesterday felt like that. Without any catalyst, my mood turned from my usual bubbly one to an emo one. The cause, of which, I'm pretty sure belongs only to someone, to say the least. It feels exactly like getting drunk. You want more, yet its hurting me and I need to just let go of it with a long, deep sleep so that tomorrow will be a new day. Its this struggle that brings me to the dilemma. Nothing comes of it after repeated days of thought.
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Thursday, Apr. 12, 2007, 1:53 a.m.
It one thing to be hot blooded, and another to act on your impulses and then regret your actions and give yourself hell over it after.It seems time after time, the important lesson of self respect and self worth has still not been learn. The leeson seems to be overshadowed by the lack of determination to resist temptation, and to give in to ephemeral pleasures.
Self-loathing comes right after, in throbbing pangs that truly plunges one into the abyss of guilt. One that you know will haunt you, reminding you of how weak your will is.
And no one knows just how deafening the voice inside your head is.
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Wednesday, Apr. 04, 2007, 9:01 p.m.
So a stab's been taken. To the heart. It's always at the point where one's most vulnerable, when they need you the most, and then you leave, just casting them aside.
Its no wonder the number of singletons are increasing, maybe because they don't want to face such turmoil in the unseen future. The feeling is an indescribable one. Nothing can accurately capture what's felt. It's a melting pot of anger, redundance, emptiness and to a certain extent, jealousy.
So until its time to set up a family, I'll take relationships only when they are filled with sugar and rainbows and all things nice, or else, they'll just have a pinch of salt. Or maybe none at all.
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Sunday, Mar. 04, 2007, 3:30 a.m.
With my ample experience in life, I came to a conclusion that everything in life is fleeting and hardwork may not always pay off. Intellect seems to be increasing in importance, alongside being savvy to know what the world wants from us in various aspects from our academics, social and moral values as well as our physical asethethics.Its now easy to ease ourselves into any social situation, much less bond with them over superficial stuff just because you 'belong', be it appearance wise or in their beliefs. Because, all this can be a facade, a made up one so that one can be accepted. To this, I've been thinking, has anyone been their real self? Who exactly is the real self? And, if we've been caught in this cycle of changing who we are physically, emotionally and mentally to fit in sociaety, would we have ever known our true self?
Then it brings me back to what I've been thinking lately. It means no harm, but it seems like my social circle belongs to the homey type. Those who avoid loud, boisterous social situations at all cost. Those who basically live just so they can work and earn money without taking time to just smell the coffee and live life a little. Mostly they are all caught up with other people, forgetting to live life a little for themselves.
Why wouldn't people just loosen up, go to pubs and clubs to shake the occasionaly bone loose and to just be carefree for a night or 2, or just to live a different life. One filled with anticipation and excitement, one that differ from the norm. Like those with backpacking trips included in their lifetime journeys, with roadtrips that will live in their memory forever and stays on farms and lesser developed areas that will change their life values.
Ultimately, it boils down to one thing, the way people make choices in their lives. Which, I need to make one soon and would probably be the most important one.
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Friday, Mar. 02, 2007, 4:55 a.m.
okay, so its 4.55am and I'm still freaking awake despite not been sleeping since yesterday. Maybe part of my insomnia should be credited to my virgin drive just now in vik's car along some deserted ulu place. It was exhilarating, but I guess i broke the record for the "Most Number Of Stalls For The First Time". also, in just about 7 hours or so, I'll be getting my results, which will definitely leave alot to be desired for. I should just brace myself for the worse and have a good night's rest now because I absolutely know that the future nights to come will be unpleasant due to the insane amount of thinking i will be doing regarding my bleak future. Its not right to say that I am a pessimist just because I hold such low hopes for my results, but its plain to see that I havent exactly put in much efforts, neither do I look like I'm a genius who would ace the papers without putting in tons of effort.
man, i shan't think so much about it. because let's face it, theres only so much that c an be done, and money does make the world go round. If you cant get in by this way, you can get in by THAT way.
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Wednesday, Feb. 14, 2007, 9:45 a.m.
Havent been updating in quite some time, but sionce then and now, I've found something fun to do for which I get paid, which is a plus in itself. not only that, I get to hang out with people my age, get to meet people from all walks of life. Add in some fun to that and it becomes my life. But I cant forget the outfit that makes me look like a penguin, but that's excuasable.So CNY's around the corner, but this year, seems like the festive cheer hasn't gone round much. the atmosphere for it is somehow lacking. No one seems to be doing decorations of sorts. Also, the clothes buying havent been done yet. All I've got are tops and tops for casual outings and stuff. And I'm still hankering after that pair of boots which are <3. Havent been meeting up with the rest too. we've all just been too busy, but oh well, lets hope we can do so during the CNY break.
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Thursday, Jan. 25, 2007, 1:11 p.m.
Its interesting to walk in the life of old grannies in singapore. Yesterday, i actually went out with my grandma and her friends, and seriously, I dont think those are what old grannies do, or so we think.In a sense, they are somewhat like us, they roam the streets, talk ALOT and quite loudly, eat and eat and they shop. Only difference, they have a ton of moolah. They can argue over who pays for everything they order, the shirt you want, the hair you did. and my grandma just pulled out a hundred bill when the time came for me to pay for my hair. i dont even think a hundred bill will be safe in my hands, probably it'll drop or fly away, and there she goes bringing a few out. where does she get so much money anyway. its puzzling. but i shall grow into an old granny like that. oh, and her friends are like those tais tai, carrying some balanciaga here, another one was carrying a i-dunno-what bag, those are like crazy rich old people. And to think, they went to china town, where there are people their age sweeping up rubbish and collecting cardboard boxes just to live! Its just someting I cant fathom.
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Saturday, Jan. 20, 2007, 10:41 p.m.
Another note, I just happen to past by vic's blog (not viknesh mind you, cuz he will NEVER be able to spout such profoundness) and he mentioned something about "everybody changed in the new year" and I guess to an extent, its true. VERY true.and its only ONE more week till Shaun comes out and I can have my prata. Cant wait!
Saturday, Jan. 20, 2007, 10:22 p.m.
Somehow, if the great times we had ever gets destroyed or even if it may never return to its original lustre, somehow, I feel it will not warrant as much regret as the other previous ones though this holds much more value and sentiment than others. The simple reason for feeling this way just cannot be put into words. It cannot be said to be purely exasperation, neither is it indignation nor the recently built antagonism between. Perhaps it’s the potent brew of all these and more. This is exactly those problems where the answer will never be found and will be an eternal mystery, but I’m so over it. It may seem like I’m speaking with acrimony now, but it all has been thoroughly thought over. And whatever life deals me with, I’ll graciously accept.
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Friday, Jan. 19, 2007, 2:09 a.m.
I'll have to evaluate what came over me these few days. I feel like i'm so emotionally vulnerable. Even rain's mv can so move me, when its just some dancing and stuff. Its hard having to live life like this. And watching Dr. Reyes's chihuahua die was a horrible thing. Its akin to my own set dying, and god knows how long my taps were turned on that time. and one can only guess how difficult it is to type out an entry using a mobile phone keypad, as like what i'm stupidly doing now.